Wednesday, 7 June 2017

Funny Quotes on Statistics

This time I thought of consolidating a set of entirely different type of quotes. The thought of statistics came into my mind. It has become very common nowadays for people to site some random statistical figure in conversations and articles to put weight into their version of the argument without mentioning any source. This made me feel that ‘Statistics’ does deserve some attention and I thought of searching what great minds had to say about them. So, here is a list of funny quotes on statistics.


Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures.
~ Evan Esar

“A recent survey or North American males found 42% were overweight, 34% were critically obese and 8% ate the survey.”
~ Banksy

“A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic.”
~ Joseph Vissarionovich Stalin

“There are three types of lies -- lies, damn lies, and statistics.”
~ Benjamin Disraeli

“Whenever I read statistical reports, I try to imagine my unfortunate contemporary, the Average Person, who, according to these reports, has 0.66 children, 0.032 cars, and 0.046 TVs.”
~ Kató Lomb

“All statistics have outliers.”
~ Nenia Campbell

“Statistics, likelihoods, and probabilities mean everything to men, nothing to God.”
~ Richelle E. Goodrich

"If your experiment needs statistics, you ought to have done a better experiment."
~ Ernest Rutherford

"He uses statistics like a drunk uses lamp-posts, more for support than illumination."
~ Romano Prodi

"I found out that smoking is the leading cause of statistics."
~ Matthew Gray Gubler

"Statistics show that of those who contract the habit of eating, very few survive."
~ George Bernard Shaw

“We are not concerned with the very poor. They are unthinkable, and only to be approached by the statistician or the poet.”
~ E.M. Forster 

According to statistics 97.5% of people who have read these quotes started studying statistics and build a career in the same field. However, according to another statistics 100% of people who do not give enough importance to the source of the statistical figures end up being fooled. Before I sign off on this article on funny quotes on statistics let me put one last quote on statistics by Chris Hart - “All the statistics in the world can’t measure the warmth of a smile.”

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