I just couldn’t stop myself on this one. I have always been sharing and quoting P. G. Wodehouse whenever possible, even in random conversations, often to realize that the person I am speaking to does not understand this sort of humour. However, for P. G. Wodehouse fans and people who appreciate English humour, this is my compilation of fourteen of the best P. G. Wodehouse’s humorous quotes of all time.
“Everything in life that’s any fun, as somebody wisely observed, is either immoral, illegal or fattening.”
“He had the look of one who had drunk the cup of life and found a dead beetle at the bottom.”
"Unseen in the background, Fate was quietly slipping lead into the boxing-glove."
"The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun."
“He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more.”
“At the age of eleven or thereabouts women acquire a poise and an ability to handle difficult situations which a man, if he is lucky, manages to achieve somewhere in the later seventies.”
"It was my Uncle George who discovered that alcohol was a food well in advance of modern medical thought."
“I always advise people never to give advice.”
"Love is a delicate plant that needs constant tending and nurturing, and this cannot be done by snorting at the adored object like a gas explosion and calling her friends lice."
“It was one of those parties where you cough twice before you speak and then decide not to say it after all.”
“Marriage is not a process for prolonging the life of love, sir. It merely mummifies its corpse.”
“I'm not absolutely certain of the facts, but I rather fancy it's Shakespeare who says that it's always just when a fellow is feeling particularly braced with things in general that Fate sneaks up behind him with the bit of lead piping.”
“Few of them were to be trusted within reach of a trowel and a pile of bricks.”
“Success comes to a writer as a rule, so gradually that it is always something of a shock to him to look back and realize the heights to which he has climbed.”